TV Reviews: Alcatraz

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– Alcatraz – “Pilot” and “Ernest Cobb” (S01E01, S01E02)
– Alcatraz – “Kit Nelson” (S01E03)
– Alcatraz – “Cal Sweeney” (S01E04)
– Alcatraz – “Guy Hastings” (S01E05)

How I Met Your Mother – “The Lighthouse”

Season Nine, Episode Eight

Grade: C

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33 hours remain until the big event of Robin and Barney getting married (not when Ted meets his wife, right?), and we get an episode that finally puts Robin against Loretta, something we’ve all been waiting for since Robin won her sequin dress in a poker game. I’m joking. I can’t pretend that I was even a little interested in a Robin/Loretta A-plot, but unfortunately we got it anyway. At least it happened while it was still somewhat relevant.

The best part about the episode revolved around Ted (no surprise there) and his failed attempt to experience the romantic lighthouse with Cassie (Anna Camp). While I thoroughly enjoyed Ted and Cassie’s ruined night a few episodes ago, here their dynamic was very uneven. Cassie was going through a terrible string of bad luck that made her very whiny and unfortunately for Ted, he was stuck being her venting post for most of the evening. But in this episode, while Cassie continued her terrible luck, she just seemed mean rather than willing under bad circumstances. The shift of tone between these two was distracting, but the lighthouse did serve as a very important aspect in Ted’s life: it’s where he proposed to his wife.

Okay, back to the Robin/Loretta story-line. Barney tries to keep them both happy but they’re not having it. Loretta apparently makes the best scrambled eggs ever, but Robin claims that her mom makes the best eggs. This starts a handful of little gags about how the group of friends know nothing about Robin’s mom. In the end, Robin admits to Loretta that she can’t have children and on top of that, her mom isn’t coming to the wedding. Robin and Loretta hug it out and share a nice, heart-felt moment.

You see, I would buy all of this if the show didn’t go from one extreme to the other side of the spectrum at the flick of the switch. I understand it’s a half-hour sitcom, but Robin and Loretta were just brutal towards each other to the point that nothing they were doing or saying to one another was funny. Then all it took was for Loretta to cross the line and hit Robin’s sensitive spot and they’re as close as family. HIMYM is better than this.

The C-plot involved Marshall, Daphne, and Ted’s stepfather Clint in a very strange, out-of-nowhere arc. Clint goes along with Marshall and Daphne trying to resolve their differences, but keeps making things worse. That is until both Marshall and Daphne finally agree on one thing, uniting them: that they both want Clint to shut up. When I didn’t think I could have less interest than Robin/Loretta’s story-line, HIMYM proved me wrong. The only moment that made me smile from this was hearing “500 Miles” in the car when Marshall finally chooses the driving music. Other than that, this was another throw-away episode for Marshall.

Continuous gags is a part of HIMYM. While I still enjoy Linus bringing Lily drinks (especially when he’s slightly delayed because they’re running out of glasses), listing the things the gang knows about Robin’s mother served no purpose at all. And while this wasn’t one of the better episodes this season, we did see Cristin Milioti at the end! Just for that moment, the episode was worth it.