2009 MTV Movie Awards Predictions

So tonight is the 2009 MTV Movie Awards.  I already did a post a while ago talking about how these awards suit the demographic of its viewers and nothing else.  It’s not like these awards are fooling anyone (unless Nicole Kidman actually has her golden popcorn trophy next to her Oscar award).  But hey, MTV is keeping the balance of pure fun and some prestige by nominated Slumdog Millionaire.  Honestly, if these awards were truly a blend of entertainment and excellence, then The Dark Knight should easily walk away with the Best Movie award… but this is MTV.  I think it’s pretty easy to guess what’s going to win tonight.  Here are my predictions.

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Best Movie

Like I just said above, The Dark Knight would make perfect sense to win this award.  Not only was it the second highest-grossing film of all-time, it was critically acclaimed.  Heck, it was a fantastic film and everyone loved it.  The past two winners of this award went to Transformers and Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, both made a huge amount of dough.

But even though all of this seems to add up to The Dark Knight taking the award, my prediction is the most talked about movie of the year by MTV and its tween and teen viewers: Twilight.  By no means should Twilight be in consideration for Best Movie in any circumstance, but with MTV it’s a given.  The most blogged about topic on the MTV Movie Blog is Twilight.  Do I need another reason?

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Best Male Performance

I’m curious as to why Robert Pattinson (Twilight mega-star) wasn’t nominated in this category.  With him out of the way, that leaves the door wide open for Christian Bale and Shia LaBeouf to snag this award.  Just last year, Will Smith won this award for his performance in I Am Legend.  So while it would make sense for LaBeouf or Bale to win, I’m going with Zac Efron (High School Musical 3).  It’s his finale from the HSM franchise and I think MTV will award him this final token of gratitude for the millions of screaming girls he has attracted.

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Best Female Performance

This is an interesting category.  We have four nominees who can actually act, and then one lone actress who either is either terrible or she just hasn’t reached her potential yet.  That being said, it will be the actress without the talent who will win this award… Kristen Stewart (Twilight).

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Breakthrough Performance – Male

Robert Pattinson.  Winner.  End of story.

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Breakthrough Performance – Female

It’s hard to pick anyone else than Miley Cyrus.  I would’ve picked Vanessa Hudgens or Ashely Tisdale of High School Musical, but they’ll cancel each other out, leaving Hannah Montana to accept her Golden Popcorn trophy.

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Best Comedic Performance

So this category will determine who’s the funniest?  Steve Carell is easily the funniest actor of the nominees, but Get Smart wasn’t much of a comedy.  I’m saying it’ll go down between Anna Faris (The House Bunny) and James Franco (Pineapple Express).  And the winner will be… James Franco.

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Best Villain

Heath Ledger.  Next category…

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Best Fight

This is a stupid category.  I guess I’ll have to stick with the phenomenon that is Twilight.

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Best Kiss

This is an even dumber category.  The two homosexual kisses don’t have a chance.  Again, Twilight will win this category.  K-Stew and Rob-Pat locking lips?  I think a dozen 12-year-old girls just fainted.

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Best WTF Moment

Okay… this is the absolute dumbest category I’ve ever heard.  That being said, if Slumdog Millionaire doesn’t win this award for when little Jamal dives into a pile of crap, then I don’t know what a WTF Moment is.

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Best Song From a Movie

Umm… here’s a no-brainer.  Hmm… Twilight + Paramore = Best Song Golden Popcorn.  Fact.

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Well there you have it.  I haven’t watched one minute of MTV in the past year but it’s hard to ignore the impact MTV has in the entertainment world with its teen audience.  If none of my predictions are correct, I could care less.  But hey, I’m confident that I’ll get at least seven of the eleven categories right.  Because c’mon… this is MTV we’re talking about.  I heard just recently they’ve started to play music on the channel again.  That would be like ESPN never broadcasting sports.  As you can guess, I’m not very fond of MTV.