New Girl – “Micro”

Season Four, Episode Four

Grade: C+

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I just wish that there would be an episode of New Girl where the gang just hangs out at the loft and talks about nothing the entire time. I don’t know about you, but I thoroughly enjoy the first five or so minutes every week before the story-line is established. The cast has such great chemistry together that their conversations feel so natural and they understand their characters so well that everything just passes by like a warm summer breeze. It’s easy, natural, and on top of it all it’s really funny.

In “Micro” the gang is hanging out at the bar and judging women as they pass by from the size of their breasts. Jess is offended by the guys’ comments and try to take a stand that she’s not as shallow as they are and wouldn’t reject a guy just because of their looks. Soon after, she’s talking with an incredibly handsome man and plans to go out on a date with him. But there’s one problem, he has a micropenis, which is a real medical condition (was there anyone who didn’t do what Schmidt, Nick, and Coach did?). While I love the set-up to this episode’s plot, it all falls apart.

Jess wants to prove to the guys so badly that she’s not shallow like them, that she actually makes a bet with Nick that she would date Matt for at least a month. This predictably backfires when it’s not his micropenis that’s a problem, it’s his personality. I enjoyed this story-line but the character of Matt just didn’t cut it for me. Was he a douche? Sure, I guess… but just a few episodes ago Jess was hanging onto dates with far worse guys than Matt, so where’s the consistency?

In the B-story, Schmidt and Coach compliment themselves and each other about being so good looking, so Winston and Cece decide to mess with them, pinning them against each other for the one open modeling spot from Cece’s agent (oh yeah, that’s right. Remember when Cece was a model in the show?). The result is some hilarious physical comedy from Max Greenfield and Damon Wayans Jr., but I’m not entirely satisfied about the way things end (with a purchased billboard of Schmidt in Koreatown.

The moral of the episode is that everyone has their own micropenis that you shouldn’t judge, though on top of their micropenis they could just turn out being a terrible person. I like that we keep exploring Jess’ adventure in being single, but how about the rest of the group? Nick needs more screen time, plain and simple. And I find it hard to believe that Jess and Nick shared so many awkward moments in the first season living together, and now all of a sudden they don’t. Yes, I understand they’re trying to steer away from that story-line, but that was the best story-line the show ever had.

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New Girl Character Rankings:

Jess (B-): I like how she had the guts to make a bet with Nick that she would date Matt for a month, but boy did that backfire at her! She still has her heart in the right place by believing people shouldn’t be shallow and to not judge someone just from their looks, but who doesn’t?

Schmidt (B+): After all that, he gets a billboard in Koreatown (plus $500). Not too shabby for once being a fat kid and for not actually landing a model gig.

Coach (B): The duo of Schmidt and Coach proved that they definitely work well together, and I never doubted it. While Greenfield delivers one-liners better, Wayans Jr. is the physical comedy champion.

Winston (B+): Winston absolutely OWNED the first few minutes of this episode. Nothing was better than his proud comment, “I just put $5 in the jukebox. We got a Paula Cole rock block coming our way.” Plus, I sure hope we get some more classic Winston and Cece mess-around in future episodes.

Cece (C): A “C” for Cece, because her only purpose this episode was taking the joke on Coach and Schmidt to the next level, making it somewhat authentic that one of them could actually land a modeling job.

Nick (D): I almost forgot Nick was even in this episode. A crime to the hilarious Jake Johnson.