Review: Jennifer’s Body

Jennifer’s Body (2009)
102 minutes
Rated – R
Directed by Karyn Kusama
Starring:  Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried

jennifers-body-poster

Grade: C

One thing I learned after seeing Jennifer’s Body—don’t watch a horror/erotic teen flick when teenagers will be swarming the theaters.  They laugh before they get scared.  They laugh when they are about to feel horny.  And they laugh when they get a funny text message from a person sitting next to them who are trying to make light of the fact that they are turned on or scared.  Try enjoying a movie with that kind of audience.

And if you’re seeing Jennifer’s Body, expect to have it.

If you didn’t pick up on the quirky teen lingo of Diablo Cody’s world in Juno, you certainly can’t miss it in her follow up film, Jennifer’s Body. The movie is a salacious look into the high school teen world where Jennifer (Megan Fox) becomes a demon who needs to feed on teenage boys in order to stay perky and beautiful.

It starts after Jennifer and her BFF Anita, aka Needy, (played by Amanda Seyfried) go to a local dive bar in their small town, interestingly named, Devils Kettle.  They go to the bar, despite being high school teenagers, to watch a band from the city called Low Shoulder.  The band happens to be a group of Satanists who believe that by sacrificing a virgin they will receive eternal wealth and fame.  So they choose Jennifer.

Only one problem.

As Jennifer confesses to Needy moments before she leaves with the band:  “I’m not even a backdoor virgin.  And do you know that really hurts?  I couldn’t go to flags the next day because I had to sit on a bag of peas.”

Right.

Because of the bands lack of obvious ability to distinguish which of the two girls is a virgin, the band sacrifices the class slut.  Although the band does become rich and famous, by not sacrificing a virgin they have now released a demon that possesses Jennifer’s body.

If you’re looking to get scared during this movie, don’t expect it.  If you’re looking to get excited (you know what I mean), it’ll happen from time to time.  If you’re looking to see good acting, try the theater down the hall.  Megan Fox didn’t impress me with any Oscar winning acting ability (although I’m sure someone will give her a serious role some day and she will be carrying the gold, bald-headed bodybuilder at some point in her career).

You will enjoy this movie if you like Diablo Cody’s writing and are looking for new “Honest to blog?” kind of expressions to add to your very extensive teenage terminology.  But certainly don’t expect a second coming of the Evil Dead or a sequel to Juno. This movie is mediocre at best and I’m only giving it a C because it is somewhat entertaining.  But it has some major plot holes and characters with empty story lines that are on screen solely to be eaten by a BONEfide zombie.

If only George Romero or Sam Raimi got a hold of this script.  Then we would have really gotten the blood sucking/erotic/pimple popping/cherry popping horror comedy experience many of us were hoping for. 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: