How to shut up those annoying people during a movie

http://screenrant.com/joseph-cialella-kel-tec-shooting-benjamin-button-ross-4765/

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I found this specifically funny since I just saw The Curious Case of Benjamin Button this afternoon and encountered a few people in the theater who were distracting.  To my left were an old couple.  Apparently one of them have never seen a movie before, or is simply unable to process their own thoughts, so the old woman had to give her the play-by-play commentary throughout.  If that wasn’t bad enough, to my right were a few girls who were going ga-ga over Brad Pitt.  They were giggling and whispering for a solid portion of the film.  Thank god the movie was so gripping that I was truly able to ignore the pests.